Last two Funny Misconceptions about Moms and Back-to-School

Yep, the last two funny misconceptions. Remember I borrowed these from a blogger named Diana, so I can't take the credit (and really I don't think these last two are the golden ones that she wrote). 

So if you have or had kids back to school, this list should give you a smile or not.

#9: Moms don’t mind taking you to school if you miss the bus.

Your bus comes at 7:10 am….which means that you should be standing by the door at 7:05 am.

Not eating breakfast, chasing the dog around the house or in the bathroom, asking me to check your homework while I’m taking a shower.

Get it together! I don’t like running down the street in my jammies at 7:12 screaming “Please wait” or “If you stop I’ll show you my boobies.”

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#10: Moms cry on your first day of school.

We do cry but they are tears of joy.

I have done my job.

I have successfully kept a human child alive for at least 5 years without doing any major damage.

Motherhood is the hardest job in the world!!

Sure, doctors save lives and CEO’s run million dollar businesses but…you teach a kid not to poop their pants and then you can say you’ve made the world a better place.”

Funny Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School

Misconception #8: Moms love after school activities.

      I don’t know who made up this idea of organized clubs and sports but they should be the ones in charge of carting your ass around.

      Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against all after school programs. I just wish they would offer it during hours that would work best for me so that dinner wasn’t at 8:30 at night followed by 4 hours of homework.

      Why not do it on the weekends and call it “after-hours activities” so mommy and daddy could actually go out one night and pretend that we have a life of our own.

      Don’t worry about us though I’m sure that me and “what’s his name” will be married a very long time.

Thanks, Teach --Another borrowed blog

I freely admit it. I’ve taken teachers for granted.

Sure, as a kid, you wanted the ones that weren’t too hard on you when you screwed up, or maybe
the ones who never noticed when you did.


As a parent, you merely hope they will turn your children into the smartest kids in town. We look at state rankings of schools and hope ours is smarter than that dumb school down the street. Because, by God, my kid needs to have a good job someday so I’m not supporting them till they’re 35.


I’ll admit it. When I get my kid’s report cards, or test scores, or whatever, I congratulate my kids for the good grades, and question the teachers about the bad ones.


Then, it hit me. When your 4 year old, who’s never been more than 8 feet away from you is dropped off at school for the first time, and you’re at work all day stressing about it, the teacher is the one with him, making sure he’s ok.


When your house is just so loud from your 2 or 3 kids being cooped up all summer, and you can’t wait for the house to be quiet again, the teacher is the one who happily receives them.


When a kid is having problems at home, the teacher is the one that comforts them and gives them a sense of normalcy.


When you get a call that the school is on lockdown, because of whatever craziness is going on in the world at that time, the teacher is the one who is there to comfort them.


When an EF-5 tornado is zeroed in on your kid’s school, and you are 10 miles away, helpless and hopeless to reach them in time, the teacher is the one who makes sure they are in a safe place.


When that same tornado, or even a crazy person with a gun, enters the school, and attempts to take the life of your child, and you wish you were there to jump in the way, the teacher is the one who does.


This is for all the teachers who I ever had, and every teacher my kids ever had, or will ever have. You may have never had to take a bullet for me, or protect my child from a falling wall, but it wasn’t until now that I realized, you totally would have.


I apologize for never treating you with the proper respect. The same respect we give our fireman and our policeman, should have been given to you.


Thank you for everything you ever did, and everything you were in position to do, but never had to.


Good job, teach.

Bo Wright

Continuing the Countdown of Funny Misconceptions of Moms and Back to School

Today you will notice that I added a little color to my text. Just to jazz it up, and I have given you two, not one, misconceptions. So enjoy.

#6: Moms like helping you with your homework.

What? I am scared out of my mind. I’m pretty sure that I forgot everything I learned in fifth grade by the time I was in sixth grade.

I have no idea what you are talking about most days.

I don’t really know my 12 times tables.

I read the cliff notes to all your summer reading, and I don’t know how to conjugate anything but I do know that song “conjunction junction what’s your function” if that helps at all.

And please don’t even say the words “new math” to me. What the heck was wrong the old one?

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#7: Moms can’t wait to pack your lunch every day until we die.

I hate doing laundry.

Making dinner every night is the bane of my existence, so making your lunch every day for an entire year, in terms of “mom fun,” lies somewhere between brushing plaque off the dogs teeth and scheduling my annual pap smear.

Listen, as a child I hated what my mom packed me for lunch. But, like every kid before me, and every generation to come you will find a kid to trade with…I’m sure someone likes sardines.

#5 Funny Misconceptions about Moms and Back to School

I hope some one is enjoying these misconceptions as much as I do, and not getting bored with my borrowed blog. I would add photos but I still don't know how to do that. When I learn, I will go back and add images.

So #5: 
Moms like covering books in that annoying sticky paper.

     What exactly will you be doing with these books that I have to cover them in a plastic laminate?

      Do you often teach in the rain?

     Or while the children are drinking soda and eating soup?

     Do you know how long that takes?

     Has any parent in the history of education been able to do it without any air bubbles in it?

      From now on I’m covering it the old way…brown paper bags. That way I can cover the books and pack their lunches at that same time.

      Who says moms can’t multitask?

PS. Please tell my son if he can’t find his lunch to look in his science book.

#4 Funny Misconceptions about Mothers and Back-to-School

Misconception #4: Moms like school paper work.

      How many trees are you planning on killing to tell me the same stuff I had to pay a babysitter to listen to the other night?

      You know our name, where we live and our emergency phone numbers.

      He doesn’t have a nickname….call him “stink butt” for all I care.

      We don’t have any “special circumstances” that you need to know about.  

      He lives in a home with two parents who may or may not like each other at any given time and they will fight.

      If that qualifies as a reason he can’t get his homework done on time then he won’t be able to function as an adult and have a real job, so you may want to “educate” him on that life lesson.

#3 Funny Misconceptions about Mothers and Back-to-School

            Remember I am not writing these, or making them up. A Mom in NYC blogged these, but even she said she didn't write them either. So this is a giving-credit-where-it-is-due-chain. Want to join?
#3 is not my favorite because being from Oklahoma, my kids never had "a project on wigwams made by some Indian tribe" that we did not know (also being Native American, I know most of the major tribes). Also, I personally always liked Parent-Teacher conferences.

Misconception Number 3: Moms like back to school night. Why must we do this every year? I got it already. You’re the teacher…I’m the parent. My kid is either going to be smart or dumb. If he gets a certain number or colored dot on his discipline chart, he can’t get a prize from the prize box, pretty simple stuff.

Listen, I’m pretty old school. If he doesn’t listen to you…you can throw something at him. I don’t care. But I got a lot of work to do at home and I’m paying a babysitter right now. Plus, I’m pretty sure you are going to assign some project on wigwams made by some Indian tribe I’ve never heard of, so I need to get home and start my research.

So, I got it. We’re all here for the betterment of the kids. Blah Blah Blah. Can I leave now?

#2 Funny Misconceptions about Moms and Back-to-School

Misconception Number 2: Moms like to go school shopping. 

Are you freaking kidding me? Why do I pay taxes?…so I can rack up a 200 dollar bill at Staples for crap that we have laying around my house in junk drawers. Why does it have to be new pencils? What’s wrong with the chewed up, broken strawberry shortcake pencils sitting in the bottom of the toy box for the last 6 months? And how many subject books can you possibly need? What happened to reading, writing and arithmetic. If they added a couple of things for parents to that list I wouldn’t mind so much….why not pencils, erasers and vodka …..or some Nyquil.

"Borrowing" another blogger's blog

 If I knew how to post great FaceBook postings, I would. BUT, since I don't have the iota of knowledge how to do that, I have to turn back to "old school" techniques -- borrow and paste.
School has started (everybody knows that), so I am sharing TEN Funny Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School by a clever woman by the name of Diana.
One at a time. Check back for the others.

Misconception Number 1: Moms miss their kids when they go back to school.

Seriously. I’ve had enough of you by now. Every morning with the “what are we going to do today, Mom?” is finally over. I’ve had looked at your face twenty-four seven for the last 77 days. It’s time to go learn something. No more asking me about the pool, when is the next snack or if you can stay up late and watch a movie. It’s over….You’re going back to Hogwarts and I get to have a life again. 

There is a Christmas morning for parents and it’s called “back to school.”

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Stack 'em deep; Teach 'em cheap. Back to the classroom, Teachers.

          I'm no longer a teacher, but I still read teacher blogs, websites and resource materials.
         So here it is August once again. The thrill of inservice, last minute work days and Open House anxieties are already happening.
          I can't help but zoom in on the blogs, websites or anything that encourages, inspires, lists that I can recommend to those brave souls who are willing to join the education profession. Some body's got to do it, and I'm not going to be doing it any more.

Children's Nature Center opening in October

For three years the Grand Valley Zoological Quest (GVZQ) non-profit has been raising awareness and funds to build a zoological center here in the Valley.

 By October the GVZQ will open The Children’s Center at 404 Jurassic Avenue in Fruita.

         Executive Director Janet Gardner was excited to sign the lease last week for the 3000 square foot facility located across from the Dinosaur Journey and a part of the Culture Corridor in Fruita that leads from I-70 and over the Colorado River to the National Monument.

 The Children’s Center will be open seven days a week from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and will consist of several educational immersion exhibits, both with and without animals. 

“Phenomenal exhibits such as the coral reefs, living fossils, rainforests, animals of Western Colorado, and arthropods will provide opportunities for both formal and informal education,” Gardner explained.

Since 2011 over 16,000 students of all ages have participated in the Grand Valley Zoological Quest’s educational programs throughout the Valley.

Fruita Fall Festival, Farm and Ranch Days, EdZOOcation Day, Boo at the Zoo, Zoorific, plus after school programs at Shelledy Elementary and Grand Junction High were just a few.

       According to Gardner, “All this without the benefit of a building to call home.

         The Children’s Nature Center will be the first step in the Zoo Quest to have a non-profit, self sustaining accredited zoological science building on the Western Slope so Valley residents will have a local facility and not have to travel 250 miles to Denver or Salt Lake City, and visitors can learn about the area wildlife and beauty.

Executive Director Janet Gardner is very excited to reach this three-year milestone for GVZQ. “Opening this Children’s Center will allow us to expand our education programs and increase our outreach to the community about education, conservation and importance of animals in our lives.”

“Imagine the excitement in education we can create with The Children’s Nature Center!”

Exhibit sponsorship opportunities available call Janet at (970) 245-6588.

Visit us at: www.gvzooquest.org

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/gvzoo